Apple Stuff.

You know when Jay-z retired, then unretired? You know when a soccer star hangs his boot, then unhangs it? You remember when Thierry Henry came back to Arsenal for a season?

Then you know how I felt yesterday during Apple’s event.

I felt fulfilled. I felt happy. I felt satisfied.

I hadn’t felt that way about Apple for a long time. Because all I’ve seen since the last launch of the iPad were iterations and improvements on the same basic devices, and I don’t know about you but I’m not easily excited.

Well yesterday, I was. The Apple Watch is pretty damn exciting. If you happen to be the one rock-dweller who didn’t hear about it, a simple google search should suffice. It’s the smartwatch to end them all.

I do hear all the people who disagree, who think the watch is needless, or who think battery life would make us not take it seriously as a watch, who think it won’t sell. Bullshit. Apple Watch will sell like hotcakes. Quote me.

First, let’s consider the Sport version. You have to admit that at $399, it’s not terribly expensive. I’ll spare you a rerun of features since Apple already covered that, but smart watches are a solid proposition, actual real value and people do want them. It competes well with everything out there, and most people who have iPhones are already pulling out Apple’s money in readiness for April. You can bet on it.

Now, the normal Apple Watch, priced in the $600 to $1100. This to me, is where Apple will make the most money. It’s ridiculously well built, with stainless steel alloy, space gray, silver and what not. And for a watch of those materials, it’s a steal even at $1100. This is where all the $2000 Omegas, $3,000 Pateks, all the relatively small ticket entry watches of the major Swiss brands will feel the pinch. The Apple Watch offers the same simplicity, stylishness, quality crafting and a full computer interface for the relatively low price of 1K. How could it not sell??

The Watch Edition is a classic millionaire bait. There are tons of wealthy people willing to pay $17,000 for something that everyone knows cost them $17,000. We all know this. And I’m not talking about the nouveau riche in Asia or Russia or the Arab billionaires of the world. Those ones are buying these watches right now even, plus two more for their girlfriends. I’m talking about all the reserved rich, wear-the-same-navy-peacoat-from-Gucci wealthy in Upper West side who are tired of Apple products that everyone else can also afford. They’re getting the same Apple technology like the rest of us, but finally they’re also getting an even more enhanced status symbol that we can’t have. Oh the joy with which they’ll swipe those Amex cards and pick up those Editions? You wouldn’t be able to tell it from their expressionless faces, but deep down they’ll be over the moon, singing hymns to their very own Apple assistant-god, Jony Ive.

Yours truly? I might cop the Watch. It’s very very likely I will cop it. I think there’s Apple’s money somewhere in my account, it’s only right I give it back to them. They may be glad enough to reward me with a watch. That’s how I see it. I might have to be homeless for a while, but I’ll be homeless with a nice watch. That’s just how I see it.

And I’m still looking at that new MacBook. We’ll see.

Disclaimer: I have Apple Stock. I’m not sure why you don’t but it’s not too late to buy. If you’re into that sort of thing.

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